There were so many amazing and wonderful memories I shared with my dad. Out of his 3 children, I probably spent the most time with my parents. My dad retired early and he was the one that took me to school/picked me up; took me to the mall; made me lunch and dinner; took me to appointments. I was daddy's little girl and I didn't mind spending all that time with him. If you ask anyone, they will quickly confirm that I was spoiled by my daddy. Even after I was grown and started a family of my own, he continued to spoil me.
My favorite moments with my dad:
10. Dropping my dad off at the Greyhound Station
My dad was a mechanic. That was his true passion. However, growing up my dad was a cook on a cruise ship. He would be gone for months during the summer and only had 2 weeks off every so often. Whenever my dad came home I was beyond excited. It meant I get to have my daddy back. I always looked forward to those days. When his 2 week break was over, it meant he would need to leave us again and be back on the ship. I remember I hated when it was time for him to leave. Once in a while I got to tag along on the car ride where one of his friend would drive him to the Greyhound station in downtown Vancouver. I loved and hated that ride. I hated that my daddy was leaving, but I loved that I got to take him there. My daddy would always kiss me on my head, call me by my special nickname and told me he would call me on the ship when he had time. I always cried on the car ride back home.
9. Friday nights at McDonalds/Burger King
When I was a little girl, my dad would meet his friends on a Friday night at McDonald's on Terminal/Main, later they moved next door to the Burger King. I ALWAYS tagged along. I wanted to go where ever my daddy went. On those Friday nights, my dad would always buy me an apple pie and I got to help myself to the pop machine. If I was a super good girl that week, I got a box of McDonaldland cookies. Boy, did I fill up on pop during those nights. My dad's friends always had candies for me and I loved just being with my daddy.
8. Dim Summing with my dad
My dad loved Chinese food. He especially loved going to Dim Sum. He loved having a nice big selection of plates where he could try a little of this and a little of that. Even when it was just my parents and I having dinner at home, after my brothers moved out, my dad enjoyed having a variety of dishes spread out in front of him. My mom, on the other hand, doesn't like leftovers so she never really liked having more than 3 dishes at a time. However, dim sum was the only time my mom wouldn't complain about all the different dishes at the table, which probably explains why my dad loves dim sum so much. Every week or 2, my dad would call asking if we had time to go to dim sum. Going to dim sum made him so happy. Even when he was sick, he talked about going out for dim sum. When he was confined to his bed during his last weeks, he was so happy when I brought him dim sum take out. I wish we went to dim sum with him more often.
7. My Bachelor of Education graduation: November 2002
After I finished and received my Bachelor of Arts degree in 2000, I didn't know what I wanted to do. My dad encouraged me to go back to school. He even offered to pay for it. I decided to give teaching a try and found out that I truly enjoyed it. When I graduated with my B.Ed., my dad was beyond proud. He loved telling everyone and anyone that would listen that his daughter is a teacher. I loved that I made my daddy so proud of me. One of my all time favourite picture was of me and my parents standing in front of the rose garden at UBC right after my graduation ceremony. That was also the picture my dad had in his room at home before he was admitted to the Palliative Care Unit at VGH.
6. Daddy-Daughter Vacation to Hong Kong: May 2000
After I graduated from UBC in 2000 with my undergraduate degree, my parents' treated me to a trip to Hong Kong. Hong Kong was, is and will always be a very special place for me. My mom's entire family still lives in Hong Kong. Hong Kong was also the place my dad felt truly at home. He met and married my mom in Hong Kong nearly 47 years ago. His first born son was born in Hong Kong. He loved visiting my maternal grand parents in Hong Kong. Whenever you mentioned the word vacation, he would always think of Hong Kong.
In 2000 I was lucky enough to spend a whole month with him at a place that he loved and made him so happy. He loved that he could Dim Sum with my uncle at 6:30am and I loved that he would let me sleep in and brought back dim sum food for me at 10am. I loved shopping with my dad because I knew if there was anything I wanted, he would not hesitate to buy it for me. I think this was the one and only trip I ever took with my dad. I wish there more trips I took with just the 2 of us. When my dad was in the hospital, a month before he passed, he said to me, "When I get better, I will treat all of you on a trip to Hong Kong and we'll have a great time."
5. Ethan and my dad: My dad always greeted Ethan at the door
My dad's favourite grandson was Ethan. That was the type of man he was. He didn't hide what he was thinking or feeling. I get that trait from my dad: We tell it like it is.
One of the best decision we made was choosing a preschool for Oliver that is only 2 blocks from my parents'. It allowed Ethan to spend time with his grandparents. Time that was not only precious to my dad, but also cherished by me. Every day after I dropped Oliver off at school, I would go to my parents with Ethan. And every single day my dad would greet Ethan by the car door. Most often than not, Ethan would prefer me to hold his hand or carry him into the house, but there were a few special days where he would hold gong gong's hand and walk together. Those days made my dad so so happy.
When my dad started to feel weak and stairs were a bit of a challenge, he still walked down those stairs to greet Ethan. A week before my dad complained of abdomen pain (which lead to his heartbreaking news), he was still greeting Ethan at the door. When my dad stopped coming down, Ethan asked, "Where is gong gong?" I would take him into the house and he would make his way up the stairs and started looking for my dad. Two days after my dad's memorial service, Ethan asked where his gong gong was because he wasn't outside greeting him anymore. He went up the stairs and quickly looked at the spot on the couch where my dad always was and didn't find him. That moment made me realize that I wasn't the only one missing my dad. I loved every single minute Ethan spent with my dad. I loved how Ethan always fed gong gong a treat, whether it was pistachios or a crunchito cheese snack.
4. Buying my first car, an Audi A4: June 2 2004
After I graduated high school and was accepted into UBC, I had inherited my older's brother hand me down. I got my first real job as an Elementary teacher with the Vancouver School Board in 2002. By 2004, I was ready for a new car. I remember writing on a blue post-it noted exactly what I wanted: A VW Jetta in titanium grey with all the specs. My dad did his research and realized it was not worthwhile to get a new Jetta. I was devastated he said no. He knew how much I wanted a new car, so he went looking for a good used car for me. I am a mechanic's daughter; I knew a new foreign car would be a tough battle. My dad loved good ol' Americans cars, probably because he knows how to fix those! He found me an Audi A4 1.8. He said"If we are going to buy used, we'll buy you a nice luxury car." That he did. He test drove the car and we made an offer. It was turned down and I told my dad I can just save up a bit more and get a new Jetta later. We left the car dealership. As I was about to start the car, the salesman came running out, willing to take my dad's offer. I will forever cherish that car, even though I no longer own it. It was the last big thing he helped me with...both in payment, license plate selection and negotiation. Anything car related makes me miss my daddy. Fixing cars made him so happy. Helping me made him so happy. I wish he was still here so he could still help me. *After my dad passed away, I wanted an item of his to keep as a memento. I picked the leather wallet had been using the last 20 years. When I was going through his wallet after his service, I found the blue sticky post-it note I wrote with all the specs I wanted in my new Jetta, still in his wallet....he kept that post-it in his wallet for 10 years.*
3. Visiting me at the Women's Hospital the day Oliver was born: June 11 2009
I can't remember my dad's reaction when I told my parents I was pregnant. Probably because I had a miserable first trimester and morning sickness turned into all day sickness for the first 3 months. I do remember my parents visiting me at the Women's Hospital in room Balsalm 6 after Oliver arrived. My dad was so excited to learn that he became a grandfather ('gong gong') to a beautiful and healthy baby boy. My dad LOVED boys. He wouldn't hold Oliver because he was worried that he would drop or 'break' him, but he stared adoringly at his first grandchild/grandson. He always called Oliver 'bebe' until Ethan came along and Oliver became 'dai bebe', which means big baby. That's the one thing Oliver misses most about his gong gong, hearing him call out 'dai bebe' whenever we go over or when during one of his routine calls to us.
2. Taking me to Simply Charming at Metrotown to get my ears pierced: I was in Fourth Grade
I remember asking my mom if I could get my ears pierced. She said no. I was okay with that answer because I had a back up plan: my dad. One day when I was in grade 4, my dad picked me up from school and I asked if he could take me to get my ears pierced. He knew my mom said no, but with my puppy dog eyes, I told my dad I really wanted to have pierced ears and I knew where we could go. He drove me to Metrotown and I got my ears pierced at Simply Charming. My dad paid for it...in more ways than one. After my ears were pierced with these beautiful golden star studs, he told me not to tell or show mom. Unfortunately for the both of us, my ears got slightly infected and mom found out. To this very day, I cherish my first set of ear piercing because it was something my dad I did together and it was a stealth mission we both failed miserably at.
1. Walking me down the aisle on my wedding day: September 8 2007
In all of my 36 years, I had never seen my dad cry, except on the day I got married. He was so excited and nervous walking me down the aisle for the wedding ceremony, it was so cute! As we approached my soon to be husband, the justice of the peace asked who will be giving me away and I could hear my dad's trembling voice say "my wife and I" in Chinese. As he handed my hand over to Darwin, he looked into my eyes and I could see tears forming. I will forever remember that moment. It was the moment I realized that I am SO lucky to have him as my daddy and to have Darwin as my husband.
After my dad's only visit to the BC cancer agency, where they told him what we already knew earlier and how they wouldn't recommend chemotherapy, I was beyond devastated. I wanted my dad to have a fighting chance, but because of how advanced his cancer was combined with his old age and health condition, they felt that chemotherapy wouldn't do much and would only make him suffer. We made the very difficult decision to just let cancer run its course and just cherish every single possible moment we had left with him. I remember being by his bedside and having tears roll down my cheeks. He wiped away my tears and told me not to cry. He told me he wasn't crying because he felt he had lived a long and happy life. He said he lived for 75 wonderful years; was able to see me get married; had the chance to see meet his 2 precious grandsons; and be a father to his children. He told me to take care of my mom because she deserves to be well taken care of.
I miss my daddy every single day. There are days where I refuse to believe he's gone. There are also moments where I am completely consumed by grief wondering how I will move forward. My 2 boys are helping me forward because I see so much of their 'gong gong' in them.
I love it when Ethan, out of the blue, would say to me "I miss gong gong." It warms my heart that he loved his gong gong so much because I know how very much my dad loved that little munchkin.
Oliver is very much tell-it-like-it-is kind of kid, just like my dad. He knows gong gong is gone. A few weeks ago, while in the car I told him how much I missed gong gong, but I know he's up in the sky watching over us. Oliver then said to me, "Mama, gong gong is a star in the sky. He's shining his big flashlight so we can see his star at night."
Yes, gong gong is definitely a star in the sky.
