It's been 6 months . . .

Tomorrow will be 6 months. 6 months since I lost my father. 6 months since my world was changed forever. 6 months since I experienced a heartbreak that can really never be mended.

I miss my dad every single day. I don't go through a day without thinking of him or mentioning of him. Everything I see, everything I do brings back a memory involving him.

My mom is truly a pillar of strength. I aspire to be as strong as her, when I grow up, yet I know I will most likely to fail miserably.  I am beyond appreciative of my dad's true friends who calls my mom regularly to check in on her. She misses my dad. She's very subtle about it.

The last few weeks I've been thinking about my dad's final days. I wonder if I had done enough for him to make him comfortable. I wonder if he knew how much I loved him. I wonder if he knew how much he had meant to me. I wonder if he knew how much I would miss him. I have also been thinking how he was 'last year at this time.' I wonder if I could have saved him. If I could have prolonged his life just a little bit longer. I wonder if I took better care of him, if we could have caught his cancer earlier and had it treated. I wonder . . .

It's crazy how someone always seems to be worth 'more' after their death. I use to be annoyed by my dad's daily phone calls, but now I wish I could just get one more call so I could hear his voice.  I use to be frustrated with my dad's opinion on everything and anything I did, but now I wish he was still here to give me his opinions.  I miss his touch; I miss his voice; I miss his laughter; I miss his snoring; I miss his smell; simply put, I miss absolutely everything about him.

The value of gong gong has also gone up for Oliver and Ethan. Oliver was always scared of gong gong, but now he affectionately blows kisses to photos of my dad. He loves going to the flower shop with me to pick flowers for my dad. When we get to my dad's plot, Ollie is always the first one to pull out any stray grasses to make sure it's not blocking my dad's plate. Whenever he sees stars or rainbows, he automatically says that gong gong is saying HI to him.  Whenever we are by the cemetery he always say hi and tells him where we are going and that we will visit him soon. Ollie is very excited to make gong gong a rainbow loom bracelet.

Ethan was always my dad's favourite. Ethan and my dad definitely spent more time together and had bonded. With each passing day, he is more and more like my dad. I see my dad in him. He misses my dad so so very much. When I give him his good night kiss and cuddles, he would tell me he misses gong gong.  Me too, kid...me too.

I can't believe it's been 6 months since he's been gone. I can't believe that life moves on...time goes on...I just want for a brief moment for time to stand still . . . so I can cherish, so I can mourn, so I can still be close to him....

I love you daddy!

Happy Father's Day!

Dear Daddy,

Happy Father's Day, Daddy!

I miss you so very much! I love you now, always and forever.

Thank you for being my daddy!

My safety net has a hole

I have discovered that grieving is at its worse after the dust have settled and life is adapting to the new 'normal.' There are less tears now, but my heart is still very heavy and things are definitely not any easier. I process things a little slower; I am not longer as efficient with tasks; I take longer to make decisions; I worry a lot more. At first I didn't quite understand why I have changed in this way, then I realized that my safety net now has a hole. I still have my amazingly strong mom, my loving husband and my forgiving sons forming my safety net, but I feel as if the strength of my net has weakened.

My dad had many passions, which included fixing cars, but he was also an amazing handyman. He always had the ability to think outside the box when working within the box didn't work or was not possible. Whenever anything went wrong, I would always say, "Lets ask dad." My new normal now means trying to figure things out on our own.

My dad, like any other parent, loved his children unconditionally. He always had an opinion of what he wanted us to do or how we should do it, but regardless of how badly we screwed up he would always forgive and help us fix the mistakes. My dad's love for me exuded out of him. Everyone that knew him knew this. I just hope my dad knew how much I loved and appreciated him.

For the last month I have been grieving. That's it. I have thrown myself into planning both Oliver and Ethan's birthdays (which are both over a month and 2 months away, respectively). Keeping myself busy has helped with my grieving, but it hasn't helped with how much I miss my dad.

We had our first big holiday without my dad. Easter was one of my dad's favourite holiday ever since he became a grandfather. He absolutely loved watching the boys hunt for eggs and the excitement they have in their eyes when they opened their eggs to reveal the surprise inside. This year we decided to go ahead with an Easter egg hunt. It was raining the morning of our hunt, but miraculously the sun came out in the afternoon as if my dad was saying he wanted to be part of it.

Ethan misses his gong gong terribly. He still gives my dad daily kisses when he sees my dad's picture on my mom's mantle. Whenever Ethan sees flowers, he has this need to pick them so he can give it to my dad. Oliver is very in tune with my feelings, so he often tells me its okay if I want to go to the cemetery to visit gong gong.

This past month, I realized that it's okay to grieve the way I grieve. There isn't a deadline of when the grieving ends. It's okay if things don't get easier because losing a parent is like losing a part of yourself. I may no longer be the same person after losing my dad, but life goes on . . . I love a little more now because I don't want to have any regrets later about not loving enough.

                                                                   Easter 2012

Dear Daddy: Oh how I loved thee . . .

On  December 2nd 2013 my dad went in for a routine CT Scan, but later that day he was diagnosed with secondary liver cancer and was only given 3-6 months to live. I was told the news at 8:05pm. I screamed and I cried.  Ever since that night, I had been re-playing all the special moments I had with my dad and all the things he said and did that made him so special to me. It has been exactly 10 weeks since his passing, and I still think about all those little moments I had with my dad and all those precious memories we shared after we heard the devastating news of how little time we had with him.

There were so many amazing and wonderful memories I shared with my dad. Out of his 3 children, I probably spent the most time with my parents. My dad retired early and he was the one that took me to school/picked me up; took me to the mall; made me lunch and dinner; took me to appointments. I was daddy's little girl and I didn't mind spending all that time with him. If you ask anyone, they will quickly confirm that I was spoiled by my daddy. Even after I was grown and started a family of my own, he continued to spoil me.

My favorite moments with my dad:

10. Dropping my dad off at the Greyhound Station
My dad was a mechanic. That was his true passion. However, growing up my dad was a cook on a cruise ship. He would be gone for months during the summer and only had 2 weeks off every so often. Whenever my dad came home I was beyond excited. It meant I get to have my daddy back. I always looked forward to those days. When his 2 week break was over, it meant he would need to leave us again and be back on the ship. I remember I hated when it was time for him to leave. Once in a while I got to tag along on the car ride where one of his friend would drive him to the Greyhound station in downtown Vancouver. I loved and hated that ride. I hated that my daddy was leaving, but I loved that I got to take him there. My daddy would always kiss me on my head, call me by my special nickname and told me he would call me on the ship when he had time. I always cried on the car ride back home.

9.  Friday nights at McDonalds/Burger King
When I was a little girl, my dad would meet his friends on a Friday night at McDonald's on Terminal/Main, later they moved next door to the Burger King. I ALWAYS tagged along. I wanted to go where ever my daddy went. On those Friday nights, my dad would always buy me an apple pie and I got to help myself to the pop machine. If I was a super good girl that week, I got a box of McDonaldland cookies. Boy, did I fill up on pop during those nights. My dad's friends always had candies for me and I loved just being with my daddy.

8. Dim Summing with my dad
My dad loved Chinese food. He especially loved going to Dim Sum. He loved having a nice big selection of plates where he could try a little of this and a little of that. Even when it was just my parents and I having dinner at home, after my brothers moved out, my dad enjoyed having a variety of dishes spread out in front of him. My mom, on the other hand, doesn't like leftovers so she never really liked  having more than 3 dishes at a time. However, dim sum was the only time my mom wouldn't complain about all the different dishes at the table, which probably explains why my dad loves dim sum so much. Every week or 2, my dad would call asking if we had time to go to dim sum. Going to dim sum made him so happy. Even when he was sick, he talked about going out for dim sum. When he was confined to his bed during his last weeks, he was so happy when I brought him dim sum take out.  I wish we went to dim sum with him more often.

7. My Bachelor of Education graduation: November 2002
After I finished and received my Bachelor of Arts degree in 2000, I didn't know what I wanted to do. My dad encouraged me to go back to school. He even offered to pay for it. I decided to give teaching a try and found out that I truly enjoyed it. When I graduated with my B.Ed., my dad was beyond proud. He loved telling everyone and anyone that would listen that his daughter is a teacher. I loved that I made my daddy so proud of me. One of my all time favourite picture was of me and my parents standing in front of the rose garden at UBC right after my graduation ceremony. That was also the picture my dad had in his room at home before he was admitted to the Palliative Care Unit at VGH.

6. Daddy-Daughter Vacation to Hong Kong: May 2000
After I graduated from UBC in 2000 with my undergraduate degree, my parents' treated me to a trip to Hong Kong. Hong Kong was, is and will always be a very special place for me. My mom's entire family still lives in Hong Kong. Hong Kong was also the place my dad felt truly at home. He met and married my mom in Hong Kong nearly 47 years ago. His first born son was born in Hong Kong. He loved visiting my maternal grand parents in Hong Kong. Whenever you mentioned the word vacation, he would always think of Hong Kong.
In 2000 I was lucky enough to spend a whole month with him at a place that he loved and made him so happy. He loved that he could Dim Sum with my uncle at 6:30am and I loved that he would let me sleep in and brought back dim sum food for me at 10am. I loved shopping with my dad because I knew if there was anything I wanted, he would not hesitate to buy it for me. I think this was the one and only trip I ever took with my dad. I wish there more trips I took with just the 2 of us. When my dad was in the hospital, a month before he passed, he said to me, "When I get better, I will treat all of you on a trip to Hong Kong and we'll have a great time."

5. Ethan and my dad: My dad always greeted Ethan at the door
My dad's favourite grandson was Ethan. That was the type of man he was. He didn't hide what he was thinking or feeling. I get that trait from my dad: We tell it like it is.
One of the best decision we made was choosing a preschool for Oliver that is only 2 blocks from my parents'. It allowed Ethan to spend time with his grandparents. Time that was not only precious to my dad, but also cherished by me. Every day after I dropped Oliver off at school, I would go to my parents with Ethan. And every single day my dad would greet Ethan by the car door. Most often than not, Ethan would prefer me to hold his hand or carry him into the house, but there were a few special days where he would hold gong gong's hand and walk together. Those days made my dad so so happy.
When my dad started to feel weak and stairs were a bit of a challenge, he still walked down those stairs to greet Ethan. A week before my dad complained of abdomen pain (which lead to his heartbreaking news), he was still greeting Ethan at the door. When my dad stopped coming down, Ethan asked, "Where is gong gong?" I would take him into the house and he would make his way up the stairs and started looking for my dad. Two days after my dad's memorial service, Ethan asked where his gong gong was because he wasn't outside greeting him anymore. He went up the stairs and quickly looked at the spot on the couch where my dad always was and didn't find him. That moment made me realize that I wasn't the only one missing my dad. I loved every single minute Ethan spent with my dad. I loved how Ethan always fed gong gong a treat, whether it was pistachios or a crunchito cheese snack.

4.  Buying my first car, an Audi A4: June 2 2004 
 After I graduated high school and was accepted into UBC, I had inherited my older's brother hand me down. I got my first real job as an Elementary teacher with the Vancouver School Board in 2002. By 2004, I was ready for a new car. I remember writing on a blue post-it noted exactly what I wanted: A VW Jetta in titanium grey with all the specs. My dad did his research and realized it was not worthwhile to get a new Jetta. I was devastated he said no. He knew how much I wanted a new car, so he went looking for a good used car for me. I am a mechanic's daughter; I knew a new foreign car would be a tough battle. My dad loved good ol' Americans cars, probably because he knows how to fix those! He found me an Audi A4 1.8. He said"If we are going to buy used, we'll buy you a nice luxury car." That he did. He test drove the car and we made an offer. It was turned down and  I told my dad I can just save up a bit more and get a new Jetta later. We left the car dealership. As I was about to start the car, the salesman came running out, willing to take my dad's offer. I will forever cherish that car, even though I no longer own it. It was the last big thing he helped me with...both in payment, license plate selection and negotiation. Anything car related makes me miss my daddy. Fixing cars made him so happy. Helping me made him so happy. I wish he was still here so he could still help me. *After my dad passed away, I wanted an item of his to keep as a memento. I picked the leather wallet had been using the last 20 years. When I was going through his wallet after his service, I found the blue sticky post-it note I wrote with all the specs I wanted in my new Jetta, still in his wallet....he kept that post-it in his wallet for 10 years.*

3.  Visiting me at the Women's Hospital the day Oliver was born: June 11 2009
I can't remember my dad's reaction when I told my parents I was pregnant. Probably because I had a miserable first trimester and morning sickness turned into all day sickness for the first 3 months. I do remember my parents visiting me at the Women's Hospital in room Balsalm 6 after Oliver arrived. My dad was so excited to learn that he became a grandfather ('gong gong') to a beautiful and healthy baby boy. My dad LOVED boys. He wouldn't hold Oliver because he was worried that he would drop or 'break' him, but he stared adoringly at his first grandchild/grandson. He always called Oliver 'bebe' until Ethan came along and Oliver became 'dai bebe', which means big baby. That's the one thing Oliver misses most about his gong gong, hearing him call out 'dai bebe' whenever we go over or when during one of his routine calls to us.

2.  Taking me to Simply Charming at Metrotown to get my ears pierced: I was in Fourth Grade
I remember asking my mom if I could get my ears pierced. She said no. I was okay with that answer because I had a back up plan: my dad. One day when I was in grade 4, my dad picked me up from school and I asked if he could take me to get my ears pierced. He knew my mom said no, but with my puppy dog eyes, I told my dad I really wanted to have pierced ears and  I knew where we could go.  He drove me to Metrotown and I got my ears pierced at Simply Charming. My dad paid for it...in more ways than one. After my ears were pierced with these beautiful golden star studs, he told me not to tell or show mom. Unfortunately for the both of us, my ears got slightly infected and mom found out. To this very day, I cherish my first set of ear piercing because it was something my dad I did together and it was a stealth mission we both failed miserably at.

1.  Walking me down the aisle on my wedding day: September 8 2007
In all of my 36 years, I had never seen my dad cry, except on the day I got married. He was so excited and nervous walking me down the aisle for the wedding ceremony, it was so cute! As we approached my soon to be husband, the justice of the peace asked who will be giving me away and I could hear my dad's trembling voice say "my wife and I" in Chinese. As he handed my hand over to Darwin, he looked into my eyes and I could see tears forming. I will forever remember that moment. It was the moment I realized that I am SO lucky to have him as my daddy and to have Darwin as my husband.

After my dad's only visit to the BC cancer agency, where they told him what we already knew earlier and how they wouldn't recommend chemotherapy, I was beyond devastated. I wanted my dad to have a fighting chance, but because of how advanced his cancer was combined with his old age and health condition, they felt that chemotherapy wouldn't do much and would only make him suffer. We made the very difficult decision to just let cancer run its course and just cherish every single possible moment we had left with him. I remember being by his bedside and having tears roll down my cheeks. He wiped away my tears and told me not to cry. He told me he wasn't crying because he felt he had lived a long and happy life. He said he lived for 75 wonderful years; was able to see me get married; had the chance to see meet his 2 precious grandsons; and be a father to his children. He told me to take care of my mom because she deserves to be well taken care of.

I miss my daddy every single day. There are days where I refuse to believe he's gone. There are also moments where I am completely consumed by grief wondering how I will move forward. My 2 boys are helping me forward because I see so much of their 'gong gong' in them.

I love it when Ethan, out of the blue, would say to me "I miss gong gong." It warms my heart that he loved his gong gong so much because I know how very much my dad loved that little munchkin.

Oliver is very much tell-it-like-it-is kind of kid, just like my dad. He knows gong gong is gone. A few weeks ago, while in the car I told him how much I missed gong gong, but I know he's up in the sky watching over us. Oliver then said to me, "Mama, gong gong is a star in the sky. He's shining his big flashlight so we can see his star at night."

Yes, gong gong is definitely a star in the sky.

I miss you, daddy!

I miss my daddy every single day, but there are days that I miss him more than usual....those days tends to fall on Saturdays.  Saturdays no longer represents the joy that the weekend is starting, but instead it has become a day of remembrance for me.

My dad passed away exactly 7 weeks ago on Saturday January 11th 2014 at 10:36pm. He was surrounded by his wife, my 2 brothers, my husband and I hours before he passed. We were all able to hold him, be by his bedside and tell stories to him and about him before he left us. My husband and my brother even played videos of my 2 beautiful sons, so he could still see and hear them before he left.

Everyone had commented how fortunate my dad was to be surrounded by his loving family until the very end, but I knew we were truly the lucky ones. We got to hold his hands and watch him take his very last breath. We got to hold him, hug him and kiss him one final time before we left his body.

I will forever be grateful to nurse Julie for being able to read all the signs that my dad only had mere hours left on that Saturday 7 weeks ago. Normally, we all would have left my dad around 10pm, except for my brother who would stay overnight with my dad. She gave us her professional opinion and we all made the decision to stay by his bedside the rest of the evening. To me, it didn't matter whether he was still conscious or not, it only mattered to me that he was surrounded by everyone that loved him and whom he loved dearly.

My dad's final days at Vancouver General Hospital's Palliative Care Unit were probably the hardest days I had to go through, but they were also the days I felt the most love for and from my family. I will forever cherish all the moments I spent with my daddy during those days and all the opportunities I had to hug him, kiss him and tell him how much I love him and how grateful he was my daddy.

As hard as those days were, wonderful memories were also created. During the 5 days we were at the PCU at VGH, I realized how funny my daddy is. My husband fell asleep sitting next to my dad and my dad would poke my mom and gesture towards my husband with a smirk on his face. Often when I asked my dad if he's feeling any pain, he would shout at me saying, "No! You don't need to shout at me. I may be sick, but I'm not deaf."

My favorite memory of his time at the PCU was how he always always always greeted me with a smile and addressed me with his nickname for me every morning! He would ask about the boys and whenever I told him they will be visiting him later, he would smile and nod. Boy, did he loved his grandsons and boy did I loved him!

It has been 7 weeks since he passed and there are still days I refuse to believe that my daddy is gone. Whenever my mom calls and I see my dad's name on my caller ID, I still PRAY, HOPE, WISH, DREAM that it's my daddy calling asking me to come home for dinner.

Daddy, I'm coming home for dinner. I'm coming home to see you. I'm coming home to hug you. I'm coming home to kiss you. I'm coming home to tell you I love you.

Oliver, Me and my dad at home before he was admitted to VGH.

*If you ever feel the need to make a donation to anywhere, I would be grateful if you chose to donate to the Palliative Care Unit at Vancouver General Hospital.
http://my.e2rm.com/PersonalPage.aspx?registrationID=2242470&langPref=en-CA

It's Toonie Tuesday at KFC

Today is Tuesday, which means it's Toonie Tuesday at Kentucky Fried Chicken. Long gone are the days where you can get 2 pieces of chicken and fries for $2. Now the same meal will cost you $2.99 (tax included).

Tuesdays were always special to my dad. Probably because of the Toonie Tuesday deal at KFC. My dad would take the bus to my brother's house to help with the up keep of their house (yes, that is how amazing my dad was to all of us) and on his way back home, he would pick up a meal or 2 from KFC on Tuesdays. My dad was a peculiar man. His love of fried chicken only extended to the fried chicken skin. Once in a blue moon, you may see him eat an entire piece of chicken, skin and meat together...how novel of an idea daddy! But most often than not, the skin of the chicken is usually missing. The skinless fried chicken would sit in its box in the fridge for a couple of days until my mom could stand it no longer and she would eat the chicken herself.

My dad had various health issues ranging from high cholesterol to high sugar levels, so fried chicken became a contraband item at my parents'. That didn't mean that famous red and white KFC box didn't make it into the house. My dad would still visit the good ol' colonel and pick up a box. When my mom would sarcastically ask how a box of fried chicken magically appeared in the fridge, my dad's reply was simple, "I bought it for Darwin." My dad loved my husband for many reasons, but I am almost positive that my husband won my dad over simply with their shared loved for fried chicken. Not just any fried chicken, but KFC fried chicken.

Initially you would think my dad was an incredible father in law to my husband (which I think he is, by the way), who thought of his son in law while at KFC. However, upon closer inspection of this box of KFC, you would notice quite quickly that the fried chicken skin is missing from one of the piece of chicken. Did we get a piece of defective fried chicken from the Colonel? Nope, it's my daddy's way of branding the chicken. My husband, the wonderful man that he is, would happily eat the skinless chicken and mumble thanks to my dad while he's scarfing it down.

This skinless fried chicken scenario didn't happen every Tuesday, but it happened often enough it became a family joke. Whenever we saw a KFC box in the fridge and without peeking, we instinctively knew that box was intended for my husband and at least 1 piece of chicken would be missing its skin. My mom loved my dad dearly and when he couldn't pick up a box of KFC on his own, my mom would pick up a box for him, as a treat, although the story never changed....he would always say, "It's for Darwin."

My mom's sister and brother came over from Hong Kong shortly after my dad's passing, to be with my mom. It's amazing to know that family will be there for you during the most heartbreaking and earth shattering time. On one of the Tuesdays while they were here, my mom picked up some KFC for them. I think going into KFC this particular day was extremely hard for her, but at the same time I think it gave her a sense of comfort. She was no longer there picking up chicken for my dad, but for her brother and sister. I would like to think it gave her a sense of routine. That afternoon, we all sat around the table enjoying the chicken. My aunt and uncle had the audacity to tear off their fried chicken skin and toss it aside. My mom and I giggled. We said, "If only dad was here to see that. What a sight that would be for him."

Just for the record, I am a Churchs' chicken gal.  I have always been. There use to be one 1/2 a block from my parents' house. When I was younger my dad would DRIVE me there to pick up a few pieces if I was craving it....Yup, I did type drive. That was the kind of man my daddy was. His motto was, "why walk when you can drive." My mom had always said my dad preferred the fried chicken from Churchs over KFC, but when he could no longer drive and taking the bus was his only option of getting around, KFC became his go to chicken joint. I love how convenient it was for him that a KFC happens to be along his bus route.

KFC reminds me of my dad. Ever since his passing, there isn't a Tuesdays that goes by where I don't think of him and the Toonie Tuesday deal. If you're having KFC on a Tuesday, have it in honour of my dad. I would appreciate that.

I miss you so much, daddy! I'll be sure to save you some fried chicken skin.

Ethan feeding Gong Gong pistachios, not fried chicken skin!

Hello Papaya Girl

Lets get one thing straight, I don't actually like papayas. However, if you go through my early school work, you might find a piece of creative writing written by a 7 or 8 year old me that would state otherwise. My mom has written evidence that states I like papayas. I don't remember the exact wording, but  in that piece of creative writing assignment, I wrote about how much I love eating papayas and how much my family loves eating papayas. I swear, I've never liked eating papayas. I still don't like papayas. Not even the delicious Maui papayas we came across during a Hawaiian vacation 2 years ago.

Why have I decided to name this blog, "Hello Papaya Girl?" My dad loved papayas. He likes it fresh, he likes it in his soup, he simply loves the smell of them.

I am not a writer. I am a reader. I don't like papayas. My dad loved papayas. And I love my dad. I am the quintessential 'daddy's little girl' and I recently lost him to secondary liver cancer. To be exact, I lost him exactly 5 weeks and 1 day ago.

I wanted an outlet to express my grief, to share my daddy's legacy and to help me move forward. So here I am . . . Hello Papaya Girl!

I am one of those lucky ones that had never truly experienced deep grief, until the day my dad was diagnosed with cancer and was only given 3-6 months to live. He lived for 5 weeks. I grieved every day during those 5 weeks, while still taking care of him. I grieved after he passed and I am still grieving now. I never thought I would have to read, "In Loving Memory," followed by my dad's name.

Grieving is a new experience for me. I have gone through losing my grandparents, but the loss is not quite the same as losing one of your own parent. To me, he wasn't 'just' a parent, he was my daddy. He was the man I would follow everywhere he went, when I was a little girl. If he was going to McDonald's with his friends on a Friday night to hang out, I was there. Those were one of the best Friday nights memories I have. I would get unlimited pop from the self-serve dispenser; my dad's friends would always have candies for me; and my daddy would always always always buy me an apple pie or if I was a good girl that week I would get a box of McDonaldland cookies.

I was spoiled rotten by my daddy. He would drive me to school when I couldn't wake up early enough to get there in time, which happened quite frequently. He bought me my first car (a used one) when I turned 18, got my driver license and was accepted into university. He would wake up early during the Winter months so he could scrape my windows and warm up my car every school day during the first year of my University life so I could get to my 8:30am psychology class on time. I didn't know how to pump my own gas until I was 20 because my daddy always made sure the car was filled. Even after I moved out and started a family of my own, he would still call regularly around 10-10:30 in the morning asking how I was, how my boys were and if we'll be coming home for dinner this week. I miss those calls. I miss his voice. I miss hearing the special nickname he had for me.

My dad had taught me so much. He taught me how to love: know your worth and never settle for anything less. He taught me the golden rule: treat others how you would like to be treated. He taught me how to approach life: work hard and the rewards will come. He taught me gizzards can be yummy if prepared correctly. Chicken feet are always yummy no matter how they are prepared.

I am beyond lucky to have had him as my dad. I am lucky that he had the chance to meet his 2 beautiful grandsons and declare which grandson is his absolute favourite (although I know he truly loved the both of them equally.) I am also very fortunate to have married someone my dad not only approved of, but truly loved him as one of his own.

I love you so so much, daddy. I miss you every single day. I can't wait to share with the world what an incredible man you were and how your legacy is living on through me and your grandsons.

My daddy's 75th birthday family photo